Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
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