we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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