You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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