Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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