I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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