Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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