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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm starting a business if you want to get involved

  (1-781): View more from Massachusetts

  oh boy

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings

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• (551): View more from New Jersey

  the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (513): View more from Ohio

  4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  Priorities

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• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (937): View more from Ohio

  I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change

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• (916): View more from California

  All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.

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