wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
