On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
