she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I fill condoms, not promises.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
