the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
