I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
