I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize