I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize