But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
