Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
