Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
