I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize