That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
There are leaves in my underwear?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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