Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
It was confusing and full of hummus
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
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