omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
