I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
