I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
id be glad to
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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