I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
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Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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