i barfeds in our rink
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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