Quick, to the slutcave!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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