he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize