It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
