What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
im holly from the hills drunk
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
