lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
