i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
