I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
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His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
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Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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