Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My penis needs a shock collar
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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