i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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