We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
