Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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