I accidentally had phone sex last night
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
