they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
