woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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