It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
