Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
