I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
This is classic penis vs brain.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
