Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize