Apparently you make a good broom.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You don't make any sense
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