I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
