Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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