I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize