his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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