Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
