...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Green mimosas i think yes
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You ruined the universe
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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