Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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