Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
