I'm going to rape someone's good day.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
