it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
