Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
