Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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