I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
