Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
