Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
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Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
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By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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